Waterfowl courtship, Paris & Nic...ole

The last month or so has raised eyebrows here at Alpine Learning Center. For starters, Nicole, of Paris and Nicole fame, is not actually female despite our ordering two females from Metzer Farms (now I don't feel so bad that I mis-identified Snowball earlier this year). S/he had slowly gotten larger and larger while Paris kept her slim, trim shape. The hissing as Muscovy drakes do was the dead giveaway. As was his chasing the females.

On the matter of male and female mating behaviour, here are some observations made by myself and Kerrie, poultry novices, to you, dear readers of ALS online.

In an earlier blog I made reference to whether Pate was up to the task or not regarding mating with Foie and Gras. I now suspect that it is not Pate who is the issue, but Foie and Gras. Not that anything is wrong, mind you, but that they are not yet mature enough and are not sending the proper signals. This is confirmed by the books I've read which indicate that geese (gooses?) may require up to two or three years to reach sexual maturity.

Here's the observation that makes it clear that Pate is ready and willing: he successfully mates with the Pekins and Runners.

This sounds obvious at first, but the key is in the duck's behaviour, not in Pate's. When female ducks want to get it on, they flatten their back, sit/squat down (if they are on land), stretch their necks out, and make a distinctively lower-toned quack. There is also a great deal of head bobbing prior to this falling-to-the-ground position. The females literally fall at Pate's feet, sometimes blocking his way as if it'll help them being noticed. If Pate is in the kiddie pool, we will often see half a dozen of the Pekins lined around the edge with their heads out in the "bite my neck and pin me down, big boy" pose. I will try to get a picture so you can see what I mean. Suffice to say, the ducks absolutely love Pate, and Pate loves them back.

When Foie and Gras are old enough and ready for the responsibility of raising goslings, I'm sure that they, too will execute the "take me, I'm yours" pose. Pate has already proven he understands.

One final note: it seems that size matters. One might think that the Pekins would be attracted to the same kind, but they aren't. They run away from the drakes, but follow Pate like he's a rock star.

Orange Alert

We stand down now from Yellow Alert to Orange Alert. There hasn't been a loss in over a month, and so our guns are no longer drawn but we are still cautious. The birds "enjoy" only an hour a day in the sunlight per day, but they are alive. Plans of an outdoor, secure playpen are in the making.

Pate the gander appears to be 100% recovered, finally. His play-thing these days is one of "The Michelle's" -- a female Pekin duck. Sometimes it's one of the Runner ducks, which is amusing in a way -- he out-weighs them by four times. I'm surprised they don't drown from the attention.

Foie of Foie and Gras fame is oddly gregarious these days. She was shy at first but is now the more social of the two. "People" change I guess.

Alpine Learning Series Axiom #1: If you can't kill it yourself, you shouldn't eat it.

Today marked the third "harvest" -- a Rouen drake. This will become a Turkey Day feast. It was quite small, tipping the scales at just 2 lb 11 oz after cleaning/eviceration. Did everything right this time: killed it quickly, had the right temperature for the scald, and the carcass had almost no flaws after plucking. Kerrie has selected a nice rub that'll go well in the smoker that my brother will cook it in.

I am being held prisoner

[Help. I am being held prisoner. The animals are forcing me to translate a message from them, to you, the readers of Alpine Learning Series Online. This is much, much worse than The Birds.]

Rooooooerrrrr. Rooooer. Ruh ruh ruh. Meh meh meh. Aroauuuuuugh, roo roo roo. Arrreeeeeee! Arreeeeeee! Waaaaahn!

[Pate the gander says that his leg is getting better, but he demands immediate delivery of three cases of *fresh* lettuce to complete his recovery. Or else!]

Quuuaaaaaak quaaaak quack quak qua. Qua-qua Qua-qua Qua-qua-qua-qua. QUACK QUACK QUACK!

[The Runner Duck named Snoop says she wants more worms, and she wants them *now*.]

Uh-raq uh-raq uh-rak uh-rak.

[That's Kiki the guinea. She said, "If you don't give me millet twice a day, I'll peck your windows all day long."]

Quaaaaa, quaaaaa, QUAAAAAAAAAACK!

[Clack the Pekin Duck says "I'm gonna lay, I'm gonna lay, I'm laying an Eggggggg!"]


Mah mah mah mah mah,
Ruh-uh ruh-uh ruh-uh Ruuuuh;
Wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh.

[Foie the Goose claims it is a Haiku but I'm not so sure. Loosely translated, she said "Is pate a man, or will the boy become man; we shall see in spring."]

[Please help. I can't take these demands for food, worms; and the poetry is killing me. I can't make it another day!]