It all about poop

Any parent of a child knows that you have to deal with poop. In goes food and water, out goes poop. Same with birds. But birds can't hold it in. Kids you can teach; there is a time and place. Not with birds. You see, birds are designed to fly. You can't have a bunch of poop stored up because poop weighs you down; you can't fly with excess poop. Birds have no social graces. When they have to poop, they poop, now. Gotta fly away, get away from predators. Food in, water in, poop out.

Birds don't have a large intestine like we have where water is reabsorbed. They figure if they have a ready supply of water, a lake, river, what have you, they can poop freely. If they are thirsty, they drink. No water, they die -- oh well.

So when you take over mothering duty and keep the birds inside the house, what happens? They eat, they drink, and they poop. Everywhere. The bigger they get, the more they eat, the more they drink, and the more they poop. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that you soon have a poop situation on your hands. Water is not smelly. Food is not smelly. Watery poop is beyond smelly.

In the wild, geese nibble and move, nibble, move. They are always taking bites of grass here and there, always moving. Poop does not pile up.

In my house, the seven cute goslings are contained in a kiddie pool about six feet across. I have fed them nearly 50 lbs of food now. And quite a lot more water. That is some serious poopage.

You can hide poop by piling on more bedding. That works for about the first week. The second week you give the goslings to Lissa while you learn all about guinea fowl at the annual Guinea Fowl Breeder's Association meeting. The third week you add bedding daily, to no avail. The poop piles on faster than is humane.

Want to know what happens when you fill a small pool with water for them to play in? They first take a big gulp or two to quench their thirst. Next they hop in to take a bath. Once in? They poop. Water seems to be a laxative to geese (and ducks).

There seems to be a similar response with geese and carpets. I can walk the geese across my kitchen floor on the way to the yard, where fresh grass awaits. As long as they stay on the linoleum, they hold their poop. But if they wander for just one second onto the clean carpet? They let out the most noxious pile of poop you care to see and smell.

This evening I moved the poop machines to the outdoor aviary. They should be fine, especially because I tossed Sally Muscovy in with them. Although the nights are still cool, they'll still be warm -- they are covered in goose down, afterall.

Poop, be gone!